Are we live Kate?

Dear Anne Robinson,

Why, oh why, oh why do people always start letters to points of view with why, oh why, oh why??? Anyhoo, as people who write to points of view often do upfront, I digress.

Let me start by saying that I am deeply fond of all things Auntie.

The BBC is rarely off in my house, office, commute etc. As with most people the right side of 40, I don’t tend to bother with the radio or TV schedule anymore what with your wonderous i-player. And lets face it, that’s what’s kept the Asian network and BBC 6 going this long!

Fear not, I’m not going to get all ‘Save BBC Radio 6′ on you (despite owning a few compact discs from Cornershop). No, I need to discuss something far more disturbing. Have you been watching BBC2 of late? I think someone is purposefully trying to run it into the ground.

I know one of the many ‘cost saving measures’ being bandied around is cutting BBC2′s afternoon schedule, but given the drivel blocking the airwaves this week, I’d go a step further and shut if off at night-time too. I mean I ask you. Outside of the farming community, who really wants to watch a sheep give birth. Lambing Live? Seriously?

Are you trying to make the Daily Mail brigade queasy whilst they sup their pre-bed cup of cocoa? (Actually, I don’t mind that so much, perhaps you should aim to do that a little more).

I know the licence payer is obliged to find Kate Humble some nature nonsense to ramble on about live on TV for a week, but have you nothing better to fill the schedule with than some jumper / chop in the waiting go through childbirth? Why, even re-runs of the Tellytubbies would be preferable to being exposed to drivel such as: “I put my hand in and could feel two front feet at the entrance to the cervix,” she said.

ENTRANCE TO THE CERVIX? What would Mary Whitehouse have made of this animal related filth, I ask you?

“Following up the legs, I could feel the muzzle. You don’t have to pull; you gently help the ewe who is pushing anyway. It’s a cliché but it was a miracle – a living thing. There was a rush and this great big slippery black lamb was lying there.”.

If you wouldn’t mind having a word with the controller of BBC2 and getting him to pass on his heartfelt apology (and no doubt detailed explanation of the teeny tiny demographic of three people living in rural somewhere being represented by this drivel), it would be greatly appreciated.

And if that fails, just tell him he’s the weakest link (goodbye), and that he should ruddy well give Mad Men a decent scheduling slot. Say in place of lambs popping out live?

I’m sure deep down everyone know it makes sense, and watching Don Draper make babies is far more preferable than watching sheep pop them out.

Yours frustratingly desperate for a lamb chop (and been put right off  meat for life by BBC2),

Iain G. Morrison (the sheep hating Mad Men and beeb loving ad man).